At 30 years old on April 8th 2016, I quit the corporate world….for the 2nd time.
The first time was after I had been headhunted from one major company to another. I spent a year there understaffed and completely miserable. Miserable because the accounting world was not for me. I was a Hello Kitty band aid covered sore thumb among a sea of paper cuts. I tried a year of doing my own thing and starting my business. Eventually personal life required me to go back to work so I could move out of my ex boyfriends house and be on my own. I was back in the corporate world and living on my own. To refresh your memory, here is an episode of J. A. X. where I recap a day in my life.
I am not afraid of hard work. I actually prefer to put in real effort and watch the progress before my eyes but if you haven’t noticed…there is something different about me. I am constantly trying to figure out where I belong. Where I can be most useful and feel fulfilled. I am a people person. I am creative. I am a gosh darn unicorn.
When I left the second time, it was because I had enough of the early morning commute and was given an opportunity which would allow me to focus my efforts closer to home which was now Attleboro. I took it and it made me happier.
Since I’ve left the corporate world, I’ve moved to the Non Profit sector. Currently I am the fundraising coordinator of On Common Ground which is basically a mix of a hustler and event planner. I also took on a part time job at the Attleboro YMCA. I’m a lowly welcome center representative but I like the lack of responsibility once I leave the facility. I get to work with the public, be responsibility for the security of the facility while I’m there, help people, and I get to work out too. I’ve made some nice new acquaintances too. Did you even know the YMCA is a 501(c)3? It’s a pretty great organization and I highly suggest it over another CORPORATE gym place. It might cost more but what you are getting with your membership is more than a gym, it’s a place to belong, a community and people who actually care because as we all should know….as strong community has strong people in it.
The YMCA builds community through healthy living, youth development and social responsibility. On Common Ground builds community through social responsibility and engagement.
I have to admit that I think about going back to the dark side because the money is so good but it hasn’t happened yet. Out of the 10 years since I left college, about 8 have been corporate, 1 year being a nonprofit unicorn, and a part time 2 years self-employed helping my clients and colleagues in all different capacities. Who knows where life will take me next but I know I will continue to “Be the change I wish to see in the world.” (I wear a ring that says this everyday.)
In February I was all consumed by People for People. A community talent show and live auction to benefit On Common Ground. It was hosted by George Leonard of Georgie Porgie and the Cry Babies fame (I met him at the Attleboro Still Rocks benefit last summer) and included talents like my friend Bazz and the amazing Ally Beard. That girl is going places. You can check out all the photos here on Facebook and make sure you like the organizations page.
George Leonard and I take pulling the 50/50 raffle winner very seriously.
After that happened, I got sick. It knocked me on my butt for a whole week. Never have I been that sick. Now I’m finally settling into my new apartment and routine with my two part time jobs. (Yes, you can visit me at the Attleboro YMCA Downtown location in the evenings Tuesday-Thursday. They have 2 pools.) My roommate Batman/The Dark Knight is awesome and we have a very Star Wars theme we are working on throughout the kitchen and Awesome Room #2.
Thankfully because I see Batman/The Dark Knight regularly, it reminds me that I should utilize the PSA video capabilities of the wonderful DoubleACS. So I head over one day, very tired and filmed one for the next fundraiser, The Blessing of the Bikes. Check it out.
If you are a motorcyclist or rock and roll lover, consider joining us on May 13th (rain date May 20th) for a great time to support a great cause. We have three ticket options available.
Hopefully we will have another successful event and then I get a mini break before Seeds of Hope in August and Oktoberfest in October. Hope you who are reading this is well. I always say I will work on writing more, but I’ve also just started working out. So I’m slowly building my good habits and it’s only April.
I’m single. You are probably well aware of this.
I am looking for the right guy. I’m not sure when I will meet him, I thought I had already found him but was mistaken. My divorce corrected that. I don’t want to get divorced again which may lead to me never marrying someone but that doesn’t mean I won’t have a special someone in my life. I’m open and waiting patiently.
When I watch TV I am confronted with people starting, growing, and ending their relationships. I don’t think I watch a lot of TV but some days I need to turn part of my brain off and I turn on the tube. This evening in particular I watch Jess and Nick of New Girl talk together as exes to discuss what they were doing wrong in their current relationships. I later ran out of new TV and moved to nick@nick with Full House on. I’ve been watching Fuller House on Netflix and being able to go back in time was perfect. It was the episode with Jesse dealing with the thought that he might not be smart enough for Becky. It ends with them having a fight over his machismo behavior at a party. Then Jesse realizes that he was wrong and serenades Becky outside her apartment before they have a real conversation about his insecurities and fears about losing her. You can enjoy the sweet sound of John Stamos below.
I can see how scenes like this and others shaped who I was drawn to. My exhusband wasn’t anything like Jesse Katsopolis but I remember those early days and him serenading me after classes at Emerson in his North End apartment with his guitar. The boy could sing.
But let’s be realistic people, I’m not in college anymore. Guitars are rarely sitting idly buy waiting for a pretty girl to go by. Instead now you have to get to a point where you go over each others apartments and maybe, just maybe if they are actually interested in sharing their hobbies with you, rather than just sucking your face off, they might pick it up to show you their skills. And the skill of playing guitar or singing isn’t even what were actually looking for because what we want is romance, vulnerability, and emotional intimacy. The serenade is just the romantic act which leads to the next.
So where has romance gone in a modern world where initial introductions are done by electronic messenger boxes? Let’s pretend for a moment that their photo on the dating app is their face which I see in passing from across the bar. Their profile is the assumptions I make from looking them over, I’m a bit psychic. (And not to go off my visualization but you can read a lot off of a person. You’re not just wearing that [insert fandom] t-shirt because it looks stylish and sophisticated.) So I either catch your eye across the bar and you initiate the conversation or I walk up to you and make a joke about something stupid I’ve observed in the bar. We might talk a bit or even make a date but now we have each others attention. There’s no real wooing. If I like them then I try to keep their attention. If they like me then they try to keep my attention. This attention is wrapped up in text message responses. If they don’t respond that’s it. You move on. There’s no grand gestures of romance, I guess in today’s age, it would just be an emoji.
I was once again fortunate to get another soul searching article into Motif Magazine. Please help support independent local news sources such as Motif by becoming a Patreon. The issue is out in Providence now and you can find it Online and at many local watering holes but here is my page below.
As hard as I may try, I can’t do everything at once. This week has been one of running around. I am super productive but unfortunately unable to share daily. Here is a quick update as well as Mulan attempting to spit because sometimes this is how I feel.
- I move into my new apartment with Batman/The Dark Knight Saturday. If you are free to help me move some boxes the truck arrives at 9:30am. Text or FB message me. We need a couch if anyone has an extra one.
- I got a new part time job at the YMCA. I’m super excited to stay within my community and meet more of my neighbors.
- I have a deadline for Motif Magazine on Friday for the Alt-Romance issue. This should be interesting. Look for it at your favorite Providence watering holes.
- I have a show tonight at the Providence Improv Guild at 8pm with Small Mouth Bass. Information at ImprovPIG.com. It’s Musical Improv with the wonderful Keith Munslow.
- I am planning a wedding for a friend and progress is being made. It’s so exciting and I can’t wait to share more on this in the future.
I hope to figure out a consistent way to provide you with random stories and thoughts as the year progresses. If you don’t see anything on my blog, bug me directly via email.
Love you all and hope to run into you soon!
Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr was an INFJ on the 16personalities.com site or as they’ve named the type: The Advocate.
Painting by Todd Zavorskas, created at the event and donated to On Common Ground. Prints will be made available through our website at OnCommonGroundInc.org.
I had the ability to celebrate Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. in a new way this year. The nonprofit I work for had their annual Day of Service event. Typically, I am in Boston for MLK weekend dressed up in costume, running around a hotel with some of the most interesting people I have ever met. This was the first time in 6 years I have not attended Arisia and I’m okay with that. Instead I helped move supplies and people in and out of LaSalette Shrine’s conference center so that we could host speaker Joel Christian Gill of Strange Fruit Comics, as well as a variety of artists who gave their time to show forms of expression to the community. The event went very well and I was even featured in The Sun Chronicle’s article.
I think one of the things I like the most about celebrating the life and the legacy of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King is the fact that it gives everyone the opportunity to discuss empathy. What does it mean? How do you exhibit empathy? The best way to explain it is through this video.
Empathy is not something everyone has but it’s important. Just see the definition.
noun em·pa·thy \ˈem-pə-thē\
Definition of empathy
1: the imaginative projection of a subjective state into an object so that the object appears to be infused with it
2: the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner; also: the capacity for this
Empathy is being able to relate to someone/something’s feelings. We at times may not be able to understand our own feelings, let alone be sensitive to someone else. But for those of you reading this, I believe you have the capacity for this. It can be as simple as taking a breath before you say something to someone else and really think about what they said. To immediately rebut whatever they just said with a similar experience of your own may not be right. You’re trying to relate to them through a comparable but is your experience comparable to theirs? Could you be making light of their feelings in that experience?
In regards to Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. I don’t just see him as a civil rights activist or a dreamer. I see him and his work as that of an empathetic person who’s encouraging others to have empathy as well. When we give ourselves the full ability to understand someone else’s feelings we realize that their feelings aren’t the important part of the exchange. Their feelings are just the method of communication and a reaction to that of a larger problem. It’s typical that people don’t react until they are directly effected by something. By having empathy for others, we are allowing ourselves to be directly effected by the same experiences as them. It is my hope that we would all take THAT, that important information, and do something about it. This is where the civil rights or human rights activism takes form. I don’t need to have an experience with racism to understand that it’s wrong and probably doesn’t feel good but when I empathize with a person in America who is not white, I am compelled to do everything in my power to make sure that I have no part in the hate. I am determined to fight against hate I encounter with more love and understanding than I can muster. This is where the term “bleeding heart liberal” comes from. I always thought it sounded negative, like a bad word. But after reflecting on my time as a social justice warrior (another hot word right now) and the legacy of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. I can honestly say that I’m proud to have a heart, a big heart, bleeding for every single person I meet everyday and the future I dream for us all.
Happy Birthday Rev. Dr. King, Jr.
A photo from my trip the MLK Memorial in Washington, D.C. in 2012